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Confidence: Fake It Until You Make It

M&S 6.30.16

One of my greatest attributes whether in business or personal relationships I am told is my confidence. I can tell you a younger, healthier version of myself, was confident. Now I appear to be dealing with my new natural of tendencies, to be insecure and unsure due to my past health history and many other tragic events that have happened in my life. See, I have always been the guy who tries to give 110% all of the time, but reality is that isn’t always possible. So this is how I STAY with the appearance of confidence even if the rest of the world is trying to bring it down. One of the ways I try to keep myself positive and confident is by counting my victories each day in my “Victory Journal” so I know that whatever happens I am counting my wins.
1. Dress for Success: I am a huge fan of “Entourage” both the movie and the show, and although Ari Gold may not be the best role model, his appearance always exudes confidence. You always catch yourself guessing, wait is his point of view correct just because he is always dressed for success and is just so confident in what he is saying?
2. Stand up Straight Shoulders Back: This is such a good way to automatically feel better about yourself. if you are slumpy and slouched over you will feel like the rest of the world is on your shoulders. Get over the pity party, stand tall, keep your shoulders back, and walk with authority and I can tell you that your mood will change immediately.
3. Smile and Make Eye Contact: Eye contact and a smile shows you are confident in what you are saying. I am not saying to have a stare off and look creepy, I am saying proper eye contact and a genuine smile that lights up when you talk.
4. Make Jokes about Yourself but Don’t Try to Make Others the Focal Point: It is so much funnier to be the butt of your own jokes mainly because you can guarantee you are not hurting anyone’s feelings along with not being so uptight. Also, if you can make fun of your own flaws it shows you truly aren’t afraid to just own it.
5. Spend Your Time With People Who Lift You Up: You are the average of the five people you spend your time with whether it be financially, athletically, religiously it doesn’t matter; pay a lot of attention to the company you keep. I have had to reflect on this so much in life because if you are around negative people who don’t bring out the best in you, one day you may wake up look in the mirror and realize ‘oh my goodness I am one of them now.’
6. Be Polite (Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated): The Golden rule…. One of my greatest gifts I have received is the manners my parents have taught me passed on from my grandparents. If you want to become confident, understand please and thank you and use them properly. Also, learn how to open a car door for the lady in your life. I tell people all the time chivalry isn’t dead and being old fashion is a trait less than 3% of the population hold dear to them. So use it and one day you might make wake up and be that person you always knew you could be.

About Dennis M. Postema

Dennis M. Postema, RFC, is a successful entrepreneur, best-selling author, coach, speaker and registered financial consultant. He is the founder of MotivationandSuccess.com, StoriesofPerseverance.org, FinancingYourLife.com and TheRetirementInstitute.org.

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